That’s established then: I do not understand taxation. At least, I obviously don’t understand the way I’m taxed. Whatever. In this case, I think, ignorance is bliss. I was convinced I’d have to pay the authorities and it turns out they want to pay me. I’m not complaining.
Voice on the stereo: Ainsley Henderson – Don’t Get me Wrong (again)
Well, you know. Me and lists.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
01 | Cancer
02 | Cruelty
03 | People who are afraid and/or desperate
———————–
THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
01 | Abdul
02 | Linda W
03 | Stephen Fry
———————–
THREE THINGS I LOVE:
01 | Reading
02 | Books
03 | Libraries
———————–
THREE THINGS I HATE:
01 | Waiting
02 | War
03 | Intolerance
———————–
THREE THINGS I DON’T UNDERSTAND:
01 | Racism
02 | Taxes
03 | People finding Sunday afternoons boring
———————–
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
01 | Recordable CDs
02 | My tax return
03 | Blistex
———————–
THREE THINGS I’M DOING RIGHT NOW:
01 | Completing this thing
02 | Singing along to Neil Sedaka’s Happy Birthday Sweet 16
03 | Drinking Cider (to celebrate my tax return)
———————–
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
01 | Circumnavigate the world without the help of airplanes (to really feel the size of it)
02 | Have kids (I think)
03 | Read Finnegans Wake, and understand it
———————–
THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
01 | Sew
02 | Listen
03 | Laugh at myself
———————–
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
01 | Friendly
02 | Honest
03 | Odd
———————–
THREE THINGS I CAN’T DO:
01 | Drive a car (legally)
02 | Concentrate on something I find boring
03 | Lie convincingly
———————–
THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
01 | The radio play version of The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
02 | Arlo Guthrie’s Alices’ Restaurant
03 | Your friends when they need to talk
———————–
THREE THINGS I DON’T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
01 | Anyone from the far right
02 | Anyone who talks about people behind their backs
03 | Anyone who tells you that what you want to do can’t be done
———————–
THREE OF MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
01 | Bacon
02 | Chicken Curry (Kashmiri, mmmm)
03 | Tagliatelle Carbonara
———————–
THREE THINGS I’D LIKE TO LEARN:
01 | Spanish (properly)
02 | Scuba diving
03 | Riding a motorcycle
———————–
THREE BEVERAGES I DRINK REGULARLY:
01 | Sparkling water
02 | Coffee
03 | English Cider
———————–
THREE SHOWS I WATCHED WHEN I WAS A KID:
01 | The Clangers
02 | Baltazaar
03 | Transformers
(Thank God!) Monday Mission, nevertheless.
1. Would you rather impress or influence others? Why? Which do you tend to do more than the other?
Influence, definitely. I think perhaps I do, too, though that’s pretty hard to assess.
2. Are you able to admit your weaknesses to others? How do you handle your weaknesses? (Can you accept them and see them as a strength? Do you strive to overcome them? etc.)
Well, it depends on who you mean by “others”. The easy answer is “Yes”, but I suspect that’s somewhat inaccurate. There are definitely some weakness I do not admit to, despite being aware of them. I am more likely to admit to weaknesses that can be turned into strengths. I am probably more likely to admit to weaknesses here on this blog or in writing in general than face to face, except to my very closest friends.
How do I handle them? Well, some I try to ignore, some I try to compensate for (procrastination being one, compensating, that is, by not promising too much or by making sure I have strict deadlines), and some I try to overcome. That just about covers it, I think.
3. How do you react when you are bossed around, treated as inferior or taken advantage of?
With anger. I don’t like being told what to do and how to do it, I hate people who act superior and I certainly don’t like being taken advantage of. Once any of the three happen I will go to great lengths to avoid the people and/or situations. The exception being that to some extent I have to be able to take orders at work, of course. One of my weaknesses (see, I’m admitting to it) is resenting anyone who has authority to give me orders. The conciliating factor is that I don’t much like giving orders, either (this may surprise some people, but it’s true. I like having my own way, but I don’t like to have to order people to do what I want, I’d much rather they just did it of their own accord).
4. Do you live your life to meet your own needs, or do you live to meet the needs of others? Why?
My own. Purely egoistic. I might do an altruistic thing occasionally, but it’s entirely by accident.
5. This is your Mission on Mondays, but what is your mission in life?
I haven’t decided yet. Well, apart from read all the books ever published, which is unrealistic.
6. Can you focus on your goals and achieve them, or are you sidetracked by minor distractions along the way?
I’m quite easily distracted. Few of my goals have been anything but eclectic, the sort than can be reached by meandering routes and therefore don’t suffer much from distractions.
7. When was the last time you cried? What were you feeling at that moment (anger, sadness, etc.)?
Yesterday morning I woke up crying from a rather distressing dream involving americans and – of all things – cruelty to animals. Some sort of illustration served up by my subconscious to remind me that I’m not happy with the current situation in the Middle East, I assume, though there might be quite a different explanation. The feeling? Sadness and frustration.
BONUS: Who can it be knocking at my door?
The big, bad wolf.
Voice in my head: my own, singing Kveldssang for Laffen (which I used to sing to my brother as a lullaby years and years ago)
1. Sexier (female)…Pamela Anderson or Jennifer Garner?
Pass. (Though I have to say this: I have serious problems understanding how anyone could find Pamela Anderson sexy.)
2. Sexier (male)…Ben Affleck or Matt Damon?
Uhm. Pass? Neither of them are very sexy. Sorry.
3. The better piano player…Billy Joel or Elton John?
Ach. I’d have to say, uhm, Elton. No, wait, Billy. No. Wait.
4. Funnier…David Letterman or Craig Kilborn?
David Letterman
5. The dumber cartoon cat…Stimpy (of *Ren & Stimpy*) or Tom (of *Tom & Jerry*)?
Well, Tom’s no Einstein, but Stimpy does not have a single braincell between him. No, wait, that’s not right. Whatever. Stimpy.
6. A better news anchor…Tom Brokaw or Dan Rather?
7. A better TV chef…Emeril Lagasse or Jacques Pepin?
Passing on these two as I have no idea who these people are. Are these US-specific questions or what?
8. The trashier talk show host…Maury Povich or Jerry Springer?
Uhm. Well, Jerry makes his show up, so that’s not really trashy, is it?
9. The worse fast food burger joint…McDonald’s or Burger King?
McDonald’s.
10. Thought-provoking question of the week: Only a handful of U.S. Presidents have been considered to be *great* Of the following two, which one do you consider to be greater…Franklin D. Roosevelt or Abraham Lincoln? Why?
FDR, though that might be slightly unfair on old Abe whom I know very little about. Anyhow FDR did an impressive job of keeping the American people working together through some pretty tough times.
Voice on the stereo: Betty Everett – It’s in his Kiss
Well, yes, the war in Irak, but one a more trivial plane now… I’ve just been amusing myself with checking out the astrologist Jonathan Cainer’s website. It’s rather unhelpful in that he seems to assume you know the dates for all the signs of the zodiak. Well, I know most of them, but there are a few months where I get mixed up, so I need a little prompting. I was looking, naturally, at compatibility, which is why I needed help with the dates. I do know what my own sign is, thank you very much. Anyway, this is what I found out about me, as a service to y’all:
If you want to woo, win and, most crucially of all, hold on to a fire sign companion, nurture an air of mystery. Introduce a little uncertainty into the equation. Be a bit of a tease, though only a ‘bit’ of one. Fire sign people love being stirred up but they hate being wound up. They like illusion but not deception. They can’t get enough honesty but they soon tire of total transparency.
Which is pretty accurate. I’m not going to quote anything about him, that would be giving things away to a ridiculous degree.
Yes, I know, I told you I have more or less decided that friendship’s all there is to it (which is still good). Did you actually think that would mean I would stop obsessing?
Whatever. What I was going to say was that though that characterisation of me (and most of the other stuff about me) was quite accurate (in fact, I’m a pretty typical Aries), the whole “Astro Love Computer” (as I said: Horrible, horrible) thing is a bit daft, as if you read more than one of the assessments you realise that JC does not, in fact, say anything negative about the prospects of any relationship whatever. But then, what did I excpect?
I don’t actually believe in astrology anyway.
On the subject of horrible, by the way, I just had to turn Parky off because Celine Dion came on. I mean, what? And on VH-1 they keep playing I Drove All Night, as sung by Celine Dion. Shudder. Are they trying to make me sick or what?
Before Celine The Terrible, though, Ian Hislop was on, and lord how I laugh. Why, oh why can’t BBC Prime show Have I Got News For You??? Anyway, Parky asked Hislop whether angry men mellow with age, and Hislop, deadpan, answers “Oh, yes. I’ve been thinking I want to edit Hello!, now.” And all three men (Hislop, Parky and Nigel Whasisname) guffaw like anything. So did I, in fact.
Voice on the stereo: Bruce Willis – Under the Boardwalk
We rented A Walk to Remember Saturday evening. Talk about misleading advertising!
What we wanted to see was a chickflick, they lived happily ever after sort of thing, but one neither of us had seen before and one that looked like it wasn’t completely daft. We figured AWtR was probably a bit of a teen-movie thing, but as we’re both really only 13 years old, we figured it was worth a try.
Why don’t these movies come with a warning sticker? F%# the “Parental guidance” stuff, what you need is labels that say “WARNING: This film does NOT end well! Keep tissues handy! Do not watch if not prepared for a good sniffle!”
Mumble %?# mumble &%#?#? mumble.
Voice in my head: Queen – Crazy little thing called love
Ooh, I forgot:
Yesterday when we were buying cider at Systembolaget I was asked for id. It’s been so long that the lady had to ask three times before I understood what she was after. ID? You mean I look like I’m not yet 20?
Ok, so when Linda and I, Friday evening, discussed what age I might possibly claim to be come thursday we agreed that 14 was probably as far as I should stretch. However, I didn’t actually think that it was visible as such.
Crikey. The last time someone asked me for id was at TGI Fridays in Swindon a couple of years ago, and at that point I assumed it was because I was in the company of Bethan, who they refused to believe was over 21 as she’d left her id at the hotel (Lloyd: “I’m her manager. She’s got a degree. She has to be more than 21.”), and that they just figured it was easier asking us both than differentiating.
So. That gave us something to laugh about yesterday.
Voice in my head: Vonda Shepard – I Only want to be with You
Today Linda and I have been blown about in Arvika. It was just incredibly windy. Apparently, some houses up by Torsby lost their roofs. And I still suspect I’m on the verge of a cold or something, after the walk in the wind my throat hurt (some Strongbow has temporarily fixed that).
Last night we went to “Restaurangen” and enjoyed some capital blues. Funnily, a local band, The Back Wood Band (which is a really cool name, I just hope the pun is intended…) played a sort of warm-up to some band from Texas, but the local band was just WAY better. They had proper drive and a beat that made it impossible not to tap your foot and let your shoulders and hips and whatever else was movable follow the rhythm. The Texans on the other hand, were, you know, simply boring. They didn’t play badly at all, there was just not much spirit it it. So, if you’re near Arvika or The Back Wood Band come to a place near you, go see (listen). If you’re in Texas… no, lets not go there.
Oh, and on the train over here I got that trigger working. Yay me.
Voice in my head: Bjørn Eidsvåg – Skyfri Himmel
It’s catching.
Boys are … strange creatures. On the other hand, so are women. Sometimes it’d be nice to know what I want before I try to get it. It’s very hard to discuss with someone the “what do I want?” bullshit that I tend to feel the need to discuss when I don’t actually know what I want. It’s rather tricky to be tired of being single, but at the same time entirely too picky…
Maybe I should try to have a meaningful relationship with my vibrator. We get along great and we’ve got a great sexual relationship… but there’s just no communication…
Er, right.
What’s up?
How come people keep doing this to me.
How come I keep being so picky? Now there’s a good question for you.
Voice on the stereo: Doris Day – When I Fall in Love
1. How many houses/apartments have you lived in throughout your life?
Not counting the seriously temporary and short-term ones (such as a month in a hotel in The Gambia while we were looking for a house, two months at my parents’ in between properly living in Trondheim and moving to the UK), I count 16.
2. Which was your favorite and why?
I like where I live now. It’s mine.
3. Do you find moving house more exciting or stressful? Why?
Stressful, yes, but more exciting. New places, new faces, new chances to decorate and rearrange furniture to get it just right.
4. What’s more important, location or price?
Location, though price is obviously an issue (and a big one).
5. What features does your dream house have (pool, spa bath, big yard, etc.)?
Library! And a sea view. Other than that: Big kitchen and somewhere to sit outside (and/or a conservatory) would be nice.
Voice in my head: Avril Lavigne – Nobody’s Fool