The April Fool version (being a lot more fun).
1. The Bogey-Man or Henry Kissinger?
Kissinger, any time.
2. Whips ‘n chains or soft ropes with furbound cuffs?
Uhm. That would depend. Am I supposed to wear them or wield them?
3. Fish sticks or Amazon.com?
Amazon.com, or, even better, amazon.co.uk
4. Whitewall tires or color TV?
Whitewall tires are cool. You need a car to go with them, though.
5. Leather or lace?
Leather, by all means.
6. Abraham Lincoln or leftover turkey?
Ach. Old Abe. I don’t like turkey much.
7. Movable Type or Star Trek?
Movable Type. I LOVE Movable Type.
8. Happy Happy Joy Joy or Bounce Bounce Bounce like Tigger?
BBBlT, of course. The wonderful thing about Tiggers, and so on.
9. The Michelin Man or the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man?
Mmm. Marshmallow.
10. Thought-Provoking Question of the Week: If you HAD to marry one of the talking M&M’s in the TV commercials, would it be the red one or the yellow one? Why?
The yellow one. The red one’s too agressive. You might argue that the yellow one seems kind of stupid, and you’d be right, but in a husband I think I’d prefer a little stupidity over agressiveness. And if you were stuck on a desert island, there’d be more food in the yellow one.