Sigh

Lucky at games, unlucky in love. Is that an idiom in English at all? Anyhow, I won a bottle in the Friday wine lottery at work again. Is this symptomatic?

At least if I decide to be depressed at the possible implications of my luck, the prize is unbeatably useful for drowning sorrows…

At Not So Soft Meg (or Maggie – *giggle*) talks about adolescent crushes, and I was struck by recognition at the words: “Regardless, I carefully tore them out, and blu-tacked them in a row to my bedroom wall, in a long row above the bed, not because I fancied Rob or Morten or *shudder* Dolph, but because I thought I ought to.”

I had A-ha blue-tacked to the walls when I was 12, a few years later the posters were mostly Bon Jovi. A-ha, well, they were Norwegian. I was obliged to think that they were inexpressibly handsome. In fact, I thought nothing of the sort, I always thought they looked faintly absurd, but such a sentiment would have been socially unacceptable. At 13-15 one of my best friends had a major crush on Jon Bon Jovi, and in order to enter into the spirit of the thing, I had to pick a group member for myself (a member of another group would not have done for the elaborate stories we used to invent), and settled on Dave Bryan. I don’t think I ever wholly convinced myself. I like Bon Jovi’s music, but I have never taken to guys with long hair. Jon’s looks have improved beyond belief after he shed the poodle hairdo. I had to check the official website to find out what Dave looks like now. His hair’s still too long (mind you, Jon would benefit from taking even more of the length off, so he’s not the only one).

In retrospect it’s funny how I chose to conform in this respect. Everyone liked A-ha, so I had to pretend to like A-ha. Everyone had a crush on some pop-idol or another, so I had to invent a crush on a pop-idol. I don’t seem to have been very hesitant about expressing my own opinion, however deviant from the accepted norm, on other points. Well, I guess you’re allowed some “phases” as a teenager, even if you’re trying to grow into an independent and well-adjusted (according to my own standards) individual. You’ve got to try something in order to reject it, don’t you? Well, I’ve tried conforming. I didn’t like it.

I still like Bon Jovi’s music. I never really liked A-ha and still don’t. And my walls are pin-up free.

Voice in my ear: VH1 fashion awards