F&%¤

I just lost a long nice message because the stupid modem driver caused the computer to crash AGAIN!!

Grrrrrr.

Oh, well, I’ll just have to rewrite it:

I have had a message from www.SomeoneLikesYou.com again. In case you have never been so unfortunate, their idea is to send you a message saying someone has a crush on you and then, your curiosity being engaged, make you enter other people’s names and, crucially, e-mail addresses, and also, in order to get further, to spend money on their “partners'” sites. I was just about tempted to test it the last time I had a message from them, but I drew the line when it got to the money-spending. I am not that curious. Besides, I found out who had originated the message. It’s a chain reaction thing, and you really don’t want to involve your friends in this (really). Stay away from it.

If someone really has a crush on me (which seems unlikely), could you (please take “you” henceforth to refer to the potential deluded individual who imagines that sending me spam-generating anonymous – and highly un-romantic, I must say, unless anything, anything at all, which happens to be pink, is romantic in your eyes – notes through third parties out to get my money is likely to help his (?) cause) please just tell me? (If you can untangle the various bits of that sentence you deserve a Bamsemums – I will award myself one for having written it, I think – to be picked up at my place anytime.) Or, if you insist on being mysterious, send me one perfect rose (I prefer the so-dark-red-as-to-be-nearly-black variety FYI). Or take a hint from Parker, below. Or send me a good old fashioned letter. You know, the kind written on actual paper and with a stamp on the outside. Please, please, do not send me spam.

What’s much more likely, of course, is that one or other of my friends has had one of the infernal messages and been lured to enter random e-mail addresses in the hope of finding out more. If this is the case, you (“you” now being the average reader – though come to that, I do not have any average readers, to my knowledge, you are all quite exceptional in one way or another) are, of course, forgiven. But please let me know, I am slowly perishing from curiosity. And, as you will have noted, it has exacerbated my use of parentheses and subclauses.

I am somewhat intrigued by the loathsome site’s insistence that you “list five of your own secret crushes”. Honestly! I have a hard time working myself into even one decent crush, let alone (more than) five!

I promised you Parker (Dorothy, naturally), so here she is:

(Ah. Hit Ctrl+S and if the abominable driver causes more trouble I will not have to rewrite all that. Anyhoo, back to Parker:)

One Perfect Rose

Why is it no one ever sent me yet
One perfect limousine, do you suppose?
Ah no, it’s always just my luck to get
One perfect rose.

Voice in my ear: Bjarne Brønbos nye plate (Salmer på ville veier) på spilleren